Pesky Punctuation Problems

ID: A Black woman wearing a black shirt squeezes her eyes shut and presses her hands to her temples. Thought bubbles cluttered with punctuation marks come from her head.

During the quiet week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, I binge-watched a rom-com series called Dash & Lily on Netflix. Based on the young adult novel Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan, it’s the story of two teenagers in New York City who “meet” via a red notebook strategically placed around the city. They get acquainted by writing clues in the notebook, but they don’t include their names. Dash’s name is unique and might reveal his identity, so he only provides a clue—his name is “a connector of words,” which Lily thinks is cute and intriguing. 

My English teacher brain proceeded to overthink that one. It’s actually a hyphen that often connects compound words: 

“We need to find a cat-friendly hotel.” 

“I signed up for a half-hour cooking lesson.” 

“I like spending time with my book-loving friends.” 

But I suppose a main character named Hyphen wouldn’t have been so cute. 

(Fortunately, I halted these ruminations long enough to enjoy the rest of episode three of the series, which featured an exceptional scene in which Lily, wearing her fabulous red boots, goes to an underground club on her own and dances to a Jewish punk band called Challah Back Boys.)

I hate to be a spoilsport, but there’s more to the hyphen and dash than connections. In fact, while a hyphen is a “connector of words,” dashes are typically used to set off words and phrases. Merriam-Webster states that a dash is a “punctuation mark that is used especially to indicate a break in the thought or structure of a sentence.” We writers and editors know that hyphens and dashes can be tormentors. In fact, we often curse them. When do we use them? When do we leave them out? Why do we have to keep looking them up? 

To help you sort out this pecky punctuation problem, here are some examples of the hyphen and dash compliments of Dash, one of the main characters in Cohn and Levithan’s novel, Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares.

The hyphen is a joiner of words, as you can see when Dash discusses his parents’ holiday plans: “This year I had managed to become a voluntary orphan for Christmas, telling my mother that I was spending it with my father, and my father that I was spending it with my mother, so that each of them booked nonrefundable vacations with their post-divorce paramours.” The words post and divorce work together as one word to modify the word paramours, so the hyphen is needed as a connector.

For Dash, the Strand bookstore is a necessary respite from the holidays. “Some bookstores want you to believe they’re a community center, like they need to host a cookie-making class in order to sell you some Proust. But the Strand leaves you completely on your own, caught between the warring forces of organization and idiosyncrasy, with idiosyncrasy winning every time.” Like the previous example, the words cookie and making work together as one word to modify the word class, so the hyphen connects them. Also, omitting the hyphen could cause the reader to stumble through the sentence a bit, even if only for a split second. They need to host a cookie? Oh, it’s a cookie-making class.

Cohn and Levithan also often use the em dash in Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares. This punctuation mark is the overachiever in the family—it’s versatile, though sometimes it shows up too often and does too much. When used subtly, it serves as an effective substitute for colons, semicolons, commas, and parentheses. Here, Dash describes his feelings about Christmas: 

“It was Christmastime in New York City, the most detestable time of the year. The moo-like crowds, the endless visits from hapless relatives, the ersatz cheer, the joyless attempts at joyfulness—my natural aversion to human contact could only intensify in this context.” The em dash works like a colon here, indicating that what follows the em dash will explain what came before it. Technically, a colon after joyfulness would be incorrect anyway, as a colon should be preceded by a complete sentence. 

The Strand is the foundation of this storyline, the place where the red journal first makes its appearance and initially bonds these characters. Dash loves the Strand. In this passage, note the hyphens working as connectors and an em dash politely standing in for a comma:

“I was popping back and forth between [my parents’] apartments while they were away—but mostly I was spending time in the Strand, that bastion of titillating erudition, not so much bookstore as the collision of a hundred different bookstores, with literary wreckage strewn over eighteen miles of shelves. All the clerks there saunter-slouch around distractedly in their thrift-store button-downs, like older siblings who will never, ever be bothered to talk to you or care about you or even acknowledge your existence if their friends are around …”

And here’s a confession: I had to look up some of the compound words I used in this article to confirm whether they are hyphenated or not: binge-watched, rom-com, spoilsport, split second, and pop-up. Even the pros don’t have them memorized. Merriam-Webster reassured me I’m on the right track.

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ID: Amy, a White woman with dark hair and glasses smiles at the camera. She wears a magenta sweater and has a streak of silver running through her hair.

Amy Cecil Holm is Allegory Editing’s resident Line Editor, Copy Editor, and Proofreader. She draws upon decades of teaching college English to help authors polish their prose. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a master’s degree in creative writing and has worked as a journalist, technical writer, and educator. Amy has taught courses in English composition, literature, creative writing, journalistic writing, business writing, and developmental reading, among others. She has a keen understanding of grammar, punctuation, and diction and uses her careful attention to detail to help prepare manuscripts for submission and publication.

Eat Your Words: Tips on Incorporating Food Into Your Writing

ID: A wooden spoon with cooked alphabet noodles on it. The spoon rests on a bed of dry alphabet noodles.

Writing about food is fun, whether it’s a travel article, blog post, memoir, or cozy mystery set in a bakery. Food can function in writing in many ways. It can act as a device to help establish a sense of place, reveal background information, advance the plot, and reveal character. Writers in all genres can benefit from seasoning their prose with food details, but incorporating those details requires finesse.

Food can also be front and center, serving as the premise for the story and advancing its plot. Think of the many successful culinary cozy mystery series out there, such as Joanne Fluke’s popular Hannah Swensen books about a small-town baker and her community.

For a more literary read centered around food, check out J. Ryan Stradal’s novels, including Kitchens of the Great Midwest, The Lager Queen of Minnesota, and Saturday Night at the Lakeside Supper Club. As Stradal himself said in a 2015 interview with The Guardian, “A great writer will make us hunger for things we’ve never eaten, conjure a consuming nostalgia from a list of ingredients, and make us feel like we’re dining well as we’re reading well.”

Sometimes food is a more subtle part of a book, but that doesn’t mean it can’t play a major role. A favorite literary restaurant of mine is Olivier’s Bistro in Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache series. It’s a warm and comforting gathering spot for the residents of Three Pines, and many key scenes are set here, with food and beverage details added to great effect. In Still Life, the first book in the series, Inspector Gamache arrives at Olivier’s for the first time and is instantly drawn to it, establishing this place as an important part of the Three Pines setting—and Gamache as a beloved character—for all the books to come:

[Gamache] made straight for the Bistro. It was easy to spot with its blue and white awnings and round wooden tables and chairs on the sidewalk. A few people were sipping coffee, all eyes on him as he made his way along the Commons.

… At the back of this room the cash register stood on a long wooden bar. Jars of licorice pipes and twists, cinnamon sticks and bright gummy bears shared the counter with small individual boxes of cereal …

The woods had been chilly and the thought of a café au lait in front of this open fire was too good. And maybe a licorice pipe, or two …

Gamache bit into a grilled chicken and roasted vegetable baguette and decided he was going to enjoy mealtimes in this place. Some of the officers took a beer, but not Gamache, who preferred ginger beer. The pile of sandwiches quickly disappeared.

Readers may be accustomed to the appearance of coffee in writing, but it’s also nice to encounter unusual food details like Penny’s licorice pipes. If only I could visit Olivier’s for some candy and a bit of eavesdropping as Gamache ponders a case.

At times, food can be a multipurpose element in writing, as in the novel Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson. In this story, two adult children receive a family recipe and a mysterious voice recording from their mother after her death. Here they learn about this strange inheritance for the first time:

Byron cuts open the envelope and shakes out its contents, a USB drive and a handwritten note. He reads the note out loud. It’s so typically Ma.

B and B, there’s a small black cake in the freezer for you. Don’t throw it out.

Black cake. Byron catches himself smiling. Ma and Dad used to share a slice of cake every year to mark their anniversary. It wasn’t the original wedding cake, they said, not anymore. Ma would make a new one every five years or so, one layer only, and put it in the freezer. Still, she insisted that any black cake, steeped as it was in rum and port, could have lasted the full length of their marriage.

I want you to sit down together and share the cake when the time is right.

You’ll know when.

Benny covers her mouth with one hand.

Love, Ma.

That scene reveals not only tidbits about the two siblings but important information about their parents. Beyond character, the cake is part of the novel’s premise as the siblings piece together their mother’s history and honor her request.

Aside from food’s importance in the development of the story, it also requires careful copy editing, fact-checking, and proofreading. Writers must consider many factors including spelling, capitalization, punctuation, accuracy of brand names, and geographic differences and preferences. What varieties of foods like cheese, vegetables, and herbs are used in certain parts of the world? What regions prefer wine instead of beer or coffee instead of tea? A writer must know, for example, that their American character can’t order coffee with Coffee-Mate in Switzerland; it’s banned there (and in several other countries) because it contains hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oils.

Here are a few more interesting examples:

Is it bundt cake or Bundt cake? Bundt is a trademarked name and must be capitalized. What about gouda cheese or Gouda cheese? Actually, it’s just Gouda. Not Gouda cheese or Gouda Cheese.

Spellings of foods and food terms can easily puzzle writers. Is it cardamom or cardamon? Cardamom has been used as a breath freshener for centuries. And which of these spellings would you choose: kebob, kebab, or kabob? Merriam-Webster prefers kebab but lists kebob and kabob as variants, in that order. Writers must always consider their story’s setting and the cultural backgrounds of their characters in order to make spelling choices wisely and respectfully.

And oh, the hyphens! Do you take half and half or half-and-half in your coffee? I take half-and-half, and so does Merriam-Webster. Do you like kiwi? No—I’m afraid of most birds, but I do like kiwifruit (one word, no hyphen). Which of these is correct: black-eye-peas, black eye peas, black-eyed peas, or black-eye peas? Merriam-Webster prefers black-eyed peas and notes that they’re also known as cowpeas (one word, no hyphen). And the band’s name is Black Eyed Peas.

Whether you’re enjoying sprinkling culinary details into your story or developing a headache from proofreading them, food can play an important role in creating memorable people, places, and scenes that will satisfy your readers like a wonderfully rich meal.

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ID: Amy, a white woman with dark hair and glasses smiles at the camera. She wears a magenta sweater and has a streak of silver running through her hair.

Amy Cecil Holm is Allegory Editing’s resident Line Editor, Copy Editor, and Proofreader. She draws upon decades of teaching college English to help authors polish their prose. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a master’s degree in creative writing and has worked as a journalist, technical writer, and educator. Amy has taught courses in English composition, literature, creative writing, journalistic writing, business writing, and developmental reading, among others. She has a keen understanding of grammar, punctuation, and diction and uses her careful attention to detail to help prepare manuscripts for submission and publication.

What Kindergarten Can Teach Us About the Craft of Writing

Image ID: A teacher's back faces the camera. She appears to be holding a book. A small group of children of multiple races looks at what she's holding with rapt attention.

A number of years ago, during the height of pandemic lockdown, I spent a fair amount of time eavesdropping on remote kindergarten video meetings happening in the next room. (Shout-out to the amazing Mrs. Campbell!)

It was during that time, while listening in on my son's literacy lessons, that it occurred to me what valuable lessons kindergarten can teach us adults about the craft of writing. 

1. The first draft is for mistakes.

My son is the type of kid who loves to make up stories but hates to write anything down unless he's absolutely confident he knows how to spell it correctly. And because a huge focus of kindergarten is learning how to put letters and sounds together to make words, it was important during that stage that the adults in his life didn't just feed him the spelling of a word every time he asked. On the other hand, we didn’t want him to get so frustrated, fearful, or nervous that he didn’t put anything on paper at all. It was a delicate balance. 

Of course, as adults we have the luxury of spell-check. But we let our perfectionism, fear, or doubt hold us back in many other ways.

Perhaps you're like my son and tend to get in your own way. You do such a good job of convincing yourself you can't write, it won't be good, no one will like it, and your ideas are crap, that you cross out or delete every other sentence and keep rewriting and rewriting. By the time you're done with that day's writing session, not only do you have nothing down on paper, but you're so discouraged you want to give up altogether.

Or maybe you're like me and you want to make sure you accurately describe the tree your protagonist climbs, so you waste an hour googling pictures and reading about the textural nuances of willow tree bark.

The desire to get your details, your word choice, your story, and your plot exactly right is a great instinct. It's just not what a first draft is for.

A first draft is for mistakes.

You'll have plenty of opportunities to perfect it later. That's what rewrites are for. The first draft is for letting your creativity flow free and unencumbered. It's for allowing yourself the permission to get it wrong.

My son's teacher used the concepts of a supported release of control and inventive spelling to help kids avoid getting in their own way during writing time. She taught them, “You can do this, you have the tools, and if you get it wrong, that's okay—there will be time to fix it later.”

For our purposes, I suggest a freewrite exercise. A freewrite is where you set a timer and write without stopping. You can do this with or without a writing prompt (a phrase or picture to jump start your thought process). I like to do 20-30 minutes, but you can always start smaller and work your way up. Begin writing and don't stop until the timer goes off. No crossing out or erasing or hitting the delete button or going back and circling things and making notes in the margins. Just keep writing. If you get stuck, just write "I'm stuck, I don't know what to write" until you get unstuck. You can always make a note in parentheses to yourself to fact check something later, but don't stop or spend time dwelling on it—and absolutely NO GOOGLING!

When the timer goes off, go back and read your work. Fix things, change things, and research things. You may find you're in a groove and want to keep going. If that's the case, do it. There's plenty of time to rewrite later. This brings me to number two.

2. When you're done, you've just begun.

One morning, as I walked by my son's room, I heard his teacher offer this singsongy aphorism with classic kindergarten teacher enthusiasm. The class had just finished an independent activity, drawing a picture and writing a simple sentence to go with it. She reminded them that now it was their job to go back and add more details, check their spelling, and correct any upside down or backwards letters.

If I were only allowed to give a single piece of advice to writers, I would break out my best kindergarten teacher voice and sing them Mrs. Campbell's cheerful reminder: “When you're done, you've just begun.”

One of the most common mistakes I see with newer writers is a lack of understanding of the work required to get something publication ready or query ready. It's not uncommon for authors to complete dozens of rewrites of a single manuscript.

After your initial ideas-on-the-page draft—and after you take a beat to celebrate that huge accomplishment—that's when you gotta really roll up your sleeves and get down to it.

Here are some things to look for as you dig in to rewrites: 

Is your plot well formed?

• Does it have any holes?

• Is it believable within the world of your story?

Are your characters fully developed?

• Do they have clear and strong objectives, obstacles, and stakes?

• Are the character arcs well formed?

• Do the characters change in some way by the end of the story?

• Are the relationships between characters clear?

Then there’s your setting.

• Are your descriptions vivid?

• Do they evoke a sense of place?

• Do you use all five senses in your descriptions?

• Are there enough rich details to allow the reader to picture the setting?

And of course, dialogue.

• Is the speech of each individual character distinct?

• Does the dialogue move the story forward, or is it laden with too much exposition?

• What does the way the characters speak, and what they say, reveal about them—and is this what you intend to show?

We can’t forget mechanics.

• Have you checked for tense errors?

• Is the point of view consistent?

• Have you scanned for errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar?

Before you freak out, take a deep breath with me. You do not have to tackle this all at once, and you do not have to tackle it alone. Address one element at a time before moving on to the next, and when you’ve polished it as much as you can on your own, bring in an outside eye for feedback.  

The point I want you to take away is not a panic attack. Or that finishing your first draft isn't a huge accomplishment. Because it is! Not many people finish a complete draft of a manuscript. But a whole lot fewer people complete their first draft and persevere, putting in the work to rewrite and polish the manuscript.

What I do want to impress upon you is that it’s a lot of work. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I think knowing and mentally preparing yourself for that can go a long way toward setting yourself up for success.

As Mrs. Campbell might say: Alright class, this concludes today’s lesson. Now get out there and get writing!

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Image ID: Andrea, a white woman with brown, curly hair, stands in front of a tree. She wears a blue dress and is smiling at the camera.

Andrea Karin Nelson is the Founder & Executive Editor at Allegory Editing. In addition to her developmental editing work with published novelists, playwrights, and essayists, Andrea brings a unique set of experiences and skills to her editing craft. Twenty years as a writer and theater maker has developed her keen sense of story structure, plot and character development. Her plays have been commissioned and produced across the United States and performed in both English and American Sign Language. Fifteen years as a Master-Level, Certified Sign Language Interpreter has finely tuned her ear to the subtleties of language and the nuances of human interactions. And with over two decades as an educator, her teacher's heart allows Andrea to personally tailor her work with each writer. Click here to read an interview about Andrea’s journey founding Allegory. You can contact her at andrea@allegoryediting.com.

Commas & Periods & Dashes, Oh My!

Image ID: Colorful rectangles overlap one another. On the rectangles are question marks and exclamation points.

I just ate some spicy Thai delicious food. (Or was it delicious, spicy Thai food?) Because of that large meal, I can’t comfortably zip my black small dress. (Or is it my small black dress?)

This is one of the linguistic rabbit holes into which we writers often fall. And with the recent increased fascination with Royal Family news, it’s timely.

What I call “adjective confusion” has a formal name: the royal order of adjectives. It doesn’t have anything to do with Harry and Meghan, though—unless you’re writing a sentence like this: Harry and Meghan are attractive, intelligent, famous people who live in the sunny, warm, celebrity-studded American city of Montecito, California.

The so-called proper order of adjectives calls for the following placement, although variations do exist: opinion-size-age-shape-color-origin-material-purpose noun. The official rules are often unknown to native English speakers; many of us employ them by instinct honed over time. Teachers may encourage English language learners to memorize the proper order of adjectives, undoubtedly causing headaches and eye rolls.

How about this? “I bought a lovely small old rusted green metal frying pan.”

Granted, we don’t write sentences like this, and that’s for the best. We do, however, employ the royal order in shorter sentences: He has short black hair. We stayed at a drafty little lake cabin. My grandmother has an impressive antique silver jewelry collection.

Discussion of adjective order invariably leads to a discussion of commas, specifically comma use with adjectives. Here, we find a new and enjoyable rabbit hole: cumulative and coordinate adjectives and how to punctuate (or not punctuate) them. But we’ll leave that one for another time.

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Amy, a caucasian woman with brown hair and glasses, smiles facing the camera. Behind her is a large tree.

Amy Cecil Holm is Allegory Editing’s resident Copy Editor and Proofreader. As a copy editor and proofreader, Amy draws upon more than three decades of teaching college English to help authors polish their prose. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a master’s degree in creative writing and has worked as a journalist, technical writer, and educator. Amy has taught courses in English composition, literature, creative writing, journalistic writing, business writing, and developmental reading, among others. She has a keen understanding of grammar, punctuation, and diction and uses her careful attention to detail to help prepare manuscripts for submission and publication.

When Should a Writer Use an Editor?

[Image ID: A red pen sits atop a typed document. Various red marks have been made on the paper.]

We’re so glad you asked! We get this question a lot here at Allegory. The truth is, writers can use editors anytime during the writing process, but here are a few suggestions to help you determine when it might be right for you.

Working with a developmental editor usually starts after a writer has completed a first draft. Keep in mind, this may take several passes through your manuscript, so “first draft” is more like “first complete and partially-polished draft.” Listed below are some checkpoints to use when deciding if your draft is “done.”

• Clear beginning, middle, and end.

• No big jumps in plot.

• Reasonable formatting. Chapter headings are clear, material is double-spaced, and the author has proofread to the best of their ability. (Stay tuned for a handy-dandy formatting guide from Allegory coming soon!)

• Author can’t identify any other places to rewrite or make changes. You may have a good idea of some “problem areas,” but if you feel like you’ve gone as far as you can to fix things on your own, it’s usually a good time for another set of eyes.

How is developmental editing different from copy editing?

Great question! A developmental edit focuses on story structure, character arc, dynamic dialogue, and other big picture issues. Depending on what level of developmental editing you hire us for, we may focus on sentence-level details as well, but it is all done with the goal of supporting the issues listed above. This is a distinct process from a copy edit.

So, when does a writer need a proofread or copy edit? Are those the same thing?

Another excellent question! The terms proofread and copy edit often get used interchangeably, but they are two different things. A copy edit is to make sure the writing is clear. This encompasses things like passive voice (“. . .the book was read . . .” Wait, read by whom?) and timelines glitches (“George drank a glass of water, he went over to the sink and filled it.” Wait, shouldn’t he have filled the glass first? Or did he just get a second glass of water?)

A proofread is that final, careful read to check for typos, punctuation errors, grammatical errors, or specific mistakes, such as changing a character’s name from Bill to Stan halfway through.

Both of these types of editing are very important, but only matter after you have a solid manuscript. So how do you know if you’re ready for a proofreader or copy editor? Below are some identifying factors.

• You are ready to query agents and editors, but you are not good at catching grammatical errors or typos. No shame in this! You may want to have a solid proofread and copy edit done before you send your material out. If you’ve worked with us for a developmental edit, we will mark any grammatical errors and typos that we catch, but it is up to you to fix them. And of course, after you address the structural issues that we point out, additional grammatical errors, typos, etc. are bound to pop up. This is totally normal. After you rewrite to address the feedback from a developmental edit, your manuscript will need a very thorough read through specifically for these details. If you aren’t confident in your own ability to catch these types of errors, (again, no shame!) then a professional copy edit & proofread is a good option.

• You plan to self-publish. Self-published authors should have both a copy edit and a proofread prior to uploading—potentially even more than one round. No matter how strong a writer is at proofreading, we rarely catch all our own mistakes.
  

An outside eye is so important for writers and hiring a professional editor is the best way to get high-quality feedback on your work. We hope this article helped clear up some of your questions on when (and how) to utilize editors. If you have additional questions or want to find out if your project is ready for an editor, reach out to the team at Allegory Editing.

Hyphens and Compounds and Copy Edits, Oh My!

Image ID: A red megaphone on a white background. Text emerging from the megaphone reads: DISPATCHES FROM A COPY EDITOR

If you’ve ever pondered a hyphen situation, inserting and deleting that pesky hyphen to see “what looks right,” you’re not alone. Incorrectly hyphenating is one of the most common proofreading (proof reading?) and copy editing (copyediting?) errors we writers make.

One might say it’s a lifelong problem.

Or is it life-long? Life long?

Our best answer—as with many word-related challenges we face—is the dictionary. At Allegory Editing, we use Merriam-Webster, though there are other options out there. No matter what dictionary you use, consistency is key. Still, it’s good to be on the lookout (not look-out, according to Merriam-Webster) for compound words. At times we might breeze past them, so add this to your list of proofreading (yes, it’s one word, not two) tasks.

It’s important to know the three basic options for compound words. Sometimes they are one word (the adjective lifelong); other times they’re two words (the noun copy editor); and we also see hyphenated words (the adjective off-limits).

I recently came upon a questionable compound word and asked a couple of Allegory Editing team members what they thought. We decided we weren’t sure about Merriam-Webster’s answer:

The author complained of a stomachache, so her agent suggested a weeklong vacation to Hawaii.

The author complained of a stomach ache, so her agent suggested a week-long vacation to Hawaii.

The one-word version of stomachache is correct, according to the dictionary. We thought it looked funny. After some further digging, we discovered both ways are considered acceptable. At that point, we made the choice that felt right for the material. Hyphens can be a tough call because the reason for hyphenating most compound words is, in fact, ease of reading.

By the way, the dictionary also says weeklong is correct.

What’s your gut feeling about the word stomachache?

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Image ID: Amy, a caucasian woman with brown hair and glasses, smiles facing the camera. Behind her is a large tree.

Amy Cecil Holm is Allegory Editing’s resident Copy Editor and Proofreader.As a copy editor and proofreader, Amy draws upon more than three decades of teaching college English to help authors polish their prose. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a master’s degree in creative writing and has worked as a journalist, technical writer, and educator. Amy has taught courses in English composition, literature, creative writing, journalistic writing, business writing, and developmental reading, among others. She has a keen understanding of grammar, punctuation, and diction and uses her careful attention to detail to help prepare manuscripts for submission and publication.