Watch Your Tone

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Many of us remember a parent or grandparent giving us “the look.” This look was used whenever we stepped out of line in any way – perhaps we replied to a request with a snide remark. We may have incorporated some name-calling into a conversation with a sibling or shared an anecdote at family dinner that wasn’t meant for all to hear. The look was versatile; it got the job done in many situations. However, it often meant one of two things:

“Do not say that (or at least say it differently).”

“Watch your tone.”

If we were particularly naughty children who went on to become writers, these moments probably served us well. They taught us that word choice and tone are crucial to effective communication, including effective writing. We learned that every word matters; words and sentences can convey underlying meanings – whether we intended them to or not.

Word choice is a key element of any successful manuscript. It brings characters to life, illustrates the action of a plot, helps establish a sense of place, and conveys the writer’s and characters’ attitudes, also known as tone.

Writers’ word choices also convey their unique voice and style. Identifying issues with word choice and tone is an important step in the editing and revision process, but it requires a keen eye for detail and an ability to read and hear the nuances of language in order to craft sentences that will resonate with agents, publishers, and readers.

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Image ID: Amy, a caucasian woman with brown hair and glasses, smiles facing the camera. Behind her is a large tree.

Amy Cecil Holm is Allegory Editing’s resident Copy Editor and Proofreader. As a copy editor and proofreader, Amy draws upon more than three decades of teaching college English to help authors polish their prose. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a master’s degree in creative writing and has worked as a journalist, technical writer, and educator. Amy has taught courses in English composition, literature, creative writing, journalistic writing, business writing, and developmental reading, among others. She has a keen understanding of grammar, punctuation, and diction and uses her careful attention to detail to help prepare manuscripts for submission and publication.

The Importance of World Building

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I. Love. World. Building.

From zeroing in on the vital elements of real-life settings to creating new worlds from whole cloth—world building is one of my favorite things about being a writer and a strong suit of mine as an editor.

World building encompasses a vast array of elements, from architecture and landscape to laws and customs to history and technology. These things (and more) influence the way our characters behave, the decisions they make, and the consequences of their actions. And world building impacts everything from plot to dialogue to character relationships.

Perhaps more than anything, effective world building influences how readers visualize scenes as they read. It also helps readers make sense of the story itself.

World building is a vital device for all genres, including memoir and narrative nonfiction.

Of course, more world building is often required the further a setting is from our current reality. But genres firmly rooted in the real world also benefit tremendously from robust and intentional world building.

Consider memoir. Suppose the author writes about their childhood in a small, midwestern farm town in the 1950s. If a reader isn’t familiar with that time and place, they won’t grasp certain nuances unless the author uses dialogue and prose to “build” the world.

Think about the social norms within that small town that impacted the way things were done: were deals made with a handshake and Friday nights reserved for high school football? Consider also how a lack of density influences the way people move through their surroundings. And don’t forget the seemingly small details like the smell of exhaust from a passing tractor. That’s all world building.

Even for a reader familiar with small town life, there are details about the author’s particular small town that the reader still needs to know to fully understand the context of the memoir. Perhaps everyone in the author’s community knew that crossing the rickety wooden bridge over the river risked life and limb, and that nothing opened until after church let out on Sundays.

The details you use to build the world of your story help bring your reader in and keep them invested all the way through the final page.

What Makes a Great Comp Title?

Why are comps important for publishing?

Comps, or comparable titles, are an integral part of the process of getting your book to its readers. Using comps to figure out how your book fits into the publishing world helps an agent pitch it to publishers, a publisher to decide if it fits in their catalogue, and booksellers to know which shelves to put it on so that readers can find it. The right comps steer your book to the places where it will be successful.

What should I look for in a comp title?

Great comps fit your genre and subgenre, so it’s important to know your genre well, and identify all the factors that make up your book. What a comp title has in common with your book can vary. Maybe it’s characters, culture, time period, setting, theme, or treatment. Also consider the qualities that define you as an author and look for comparisons there.

Let’s say you’re writing a memoir. It’s easy enough to google “Memoirs published in 2020.” But brainstorming deeper can help you find books with more connections to yours than just genre and publication date. Define the elements of your book and expand your search. Perhaps you should also look into memoirs set on vacation, memoirs with a protagonist going through a divorce, books set in Hawaii, books by female authors, books by former CIA operatives, memoirs set in the 1970s, or whatever elements might match. Not all of these books will be comps, but learning how others have addressed those elements can help you identify differences between what you’ve written and what is already out there.

Look for comps published between two and five years from your publication date. A lot can change in five years, making older books just not that relevant to the current market. Likewise, a recently published book hasn’t proved itself yet. You want to show agents and editors a comparison to a strong, proven winner.

Find comp titles written by an author who has a similar publishing history to you. If your book is a debut, look for comps from debut authors. Books from up-and-coming authors are good choices. Don’t compare yourself to big name authors who have had more time to build their businesses. Show agents and editors that you have done the research and looked beyond the Jodi Picoults and John Grishams.

You want comp titles that have sold well. “Best of” lists can be helpful. Magazines like Publishers Weekly and Writer’s Digest publish interviews with authors of books that are getting notice. Talk to booksellers and librarians to find out what’s popular. Check out the length of waitlists on popular titles at your local library. Pay attention to what’s featured in the media.

An excellent comp is a book you’d be happy to be compared with. You’d be happy to sit on a panel next to this author, and if you saw them in person, you’d have honest, nice things to say about their book.

It’s crucial to deeply read every comp you decide to reference, and it’s also important to look at how other readers see the book. Read reviews. Learn what readers liked and disliked about it. Reading one- or two-star reviews can be enlightening.

Putting the effort into understanding comps now will help you make the right choices when you pitch the book.

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Christine Pinto is a Developmental Editor with Allegory Editing. As a developmental editor, Christine draws on her experience as a fiction writer and writing instructor. She holds a Certificate in Writing for Children and a Certificate in Editing from the University of Washington. Over a decade of experience teaching writing to children and adults, she has gained a deep understanding of the craft of writing and strong communication skills for sharing that knowledge with writers. Christine’s own journey as a writer informs her editing work with deep empathy for writers preparing a manuscript for publication. Her interests include historical and contemporary fiction, memoir, romance, fantasy, non-fiction, technical, business writing and writing for children. You can reach Christine at christine@allegoryediting.com.

The Power of the Sentence

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Long ago, an elementary school teacher gave me the greatest gift a teacher can give—the gift of seeing something previously taken for granted in a new and different light.

Every week, our teacher gave us a sentence and told us to rewrite it every way we could think of. We’d fill up a page of lined notebook paper with sentences, reversing the order of words, changing phrases into different kinds of clauses, and finding longer or shorter ways to say the same thing over and over again. I loved this exercise. I loved the power I felt moving words around like puzzle pieces while still saying the same thing. It was only later, as a writer wrestling with my own words, that I saw how each of those iterations created a subtle shift in meaning and feeling, and that some ways were better for my intention than others.

It excites me to find a change that gives me the exact meaning and feeling I want in a sentence. As an editor, I want to help writers gain a better understanding of the effect of sentence-level changes. I want them to see all the options available.

Have you ever been asked to “tighten up” your writing, quicken or slow the pace, use a less passive voice, or remove words to fit a defined word count? Do you want a phrase or word to stand out? Want the reader to slow down and focus on the details? Want a fast-paced, tense action scene? Sentence-level changes can help you do all that and more.

For example, consider the following sentence:

He pauses and clears his throat. “You’re not ever leaving here,” he says, with menace in his voice. He looks out the window.

Is this the best line for the job? It depends.

Are all the actions necessary to the meaning? You could strip out actions to give more focus to the dialogue.

“You’re not ever leaving here,” he says, with menace in his voice.

The dialogue line is menacing already. Try removing that phrase. 

“You’re not ever leaving here,” he says.

This is a strong statement, but the strongest part of it, the word “ever,” is buried in the middle. The end of a sentence is a powerful position. You can move “ever” to the end of the dialogue to give the word more impact.

“You’re not leaving here, ever,” he says.

The dialogue tag is still the last thing the reader reads. You can move the dialogue tag to the front of the sentence to keep the focus on “ever.”

He says, “You’re not leaving here, ever.”

You could change the punctuation, putting “ever” all by itself in the most powerful position in the line.

He says, “You’re not leaving here. Ever.”

You may be able to remove the dialogue tag altogether.

“You’re not leaving here. Ever.”

Now you have several options to choose from. Which one best suits your intention?

When we write a first draft, we get the words out any way we can. But they don’t have to stay that way. Sentence-level changes give us options for choosing exactly what we want to say and exactly how we want to say it.

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Christine Pinto is a Developmental Editor with Allegory Editing. As a developmental editor, Christine draws on her experience as a fiction writer and writing instructor. She holds a Certificate in Writing for Children and a Certificate in Editing from the University of Washington. Over a decade of experience teaching writing to children and adults, she has gained a deep understanding of the craft of writing and strong communication skills for sharing that knowledge with writers. Christine’s own journey as a writer informs her editing work with deep empathy for writers preparing a manuscript for publication. Her interests include historical and contemporary fiction, memoir, romance, fantasy, non-fiction, technical, business writing and writing for children. You can reach Christine at christine@allegoryediting.com.

Hyphens and Compounds and Copy Edits, Oh My!

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If you’ve ever pondered a hyphen situation, inserting and deleting that pesky hyphen to see “what looks right,” you’re not alone. Incorrectly hyphenating is one of the most common proofreading (proof reading?) and copy editing (copyediting?) errors we writers make.

One might say it’s a lifelong problem.

Or is it life-long? Life long?

Our best answer—as with many word-related challenges we face—is the dictionary. At Allegory Editing, we use Merriam-Webster, though there are other options out there. No matter what dictionary you use, consistency is key. Still, it’s good to be on the lookout (not look-out, according to Merriam-Webster) for compound words. At times we might breeze past them, so add this to your list of proofreading (yes, it’s one word, not two) tasks.

It’s important to know the three basic options for compound words. Sometimes they are one word (the adjective lifelong); other times they’re two words (the noun copy editor); and we also see hyphenated words (the adjective off-limits).

I recently came upon a questionable compound word and asked a couple of Allegory Editing team members what they thought. We decided we weren’t sure about Merriam-Webster’s answer:

The author complained of a stomachache, so her agent suggested a weeklong vacation to Hawaii.

The author complained of a stomach ache, so her agent suggested a week-long vacation to Hawaii.

The one-word version of stomachache is correct, according to the dictionary. We thought it looked funny. After some further digging, we discovered both ways are considered acceptable. At that point, we made the choice that felt right for the material. Hyphens can be a tough call because the reason for hyphenating most compound words is, in fact, ease of reading.

By the way, the dictionary also says weeklong is correct.

What’s your gut feeling about the word stomachache?

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Image ID: Amy, a caucasian woman with brown hair and glasses, smiles facing the camera. Behind her is a large tree.

Amy Cecil Holm is Allegory Editing’s resident Copy Editor and Proofreader.As a copy editor and proofreader, Amy draws upon more than three decades of teaching college English to help authors polish their prose. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a master’s degree in creative writing and has worked as a journalist, technical writer, and educator. Amy has taught courses in English composition, literature, creative writing, journalistic writing, business writing, and developmental reading, among others. She has a keen understanding of grammar, punctuation, and diction and uses her careful attention to detail to help prepare manuscripts for submission and publication.